I am quite certain that as there are those blessed or lucky few who know what they want or are meant to do, there is a larger proportion of us who are either still looking or have completely forgotten or lost sight of it.
I am also quite certain that for those that do already know what they want in life there are those who have settled to a life that they think is right by their families, the community and themselves – those like the old man in the Alchemist by Paulo Coelho says “In the long run, what people think of bakers and shepherds becomes more important to them than their own destinies”.
In our journey on this earthly plane in this time and age where we are governed and influenced so much by the external, most of us settle into this state of survival. Day to day. Check by check. Keeping up with the Joneses even if somewhere deep inside we know that this isn’t what it is supposed to be like. Sometimes when we are alone or even within a crowd there is this fleeting sense of uneasiness, maybe even a slight panic that something isn’t right but then quickly our day to day life pushes these sensations back like a defense mechanism.
It took me 3 years and 2 job moves. It took me to feel completely unmotivated at work within 3 months of joining a new company (doing the same thing as in the previous) to realize it. It took me to “get” that the feeling of being uncomfortable mixed with this horrible feeling of being trapped in my life resulting in physical feeling of being “sick” was that the corporate world is not where I belonged. This wasn’t me. The big bucks (well… relatively big, the Malaysian job market sucks) wasn’t me. The title that the position came with, the traveling, the challenges that motivated the others and even the (ugh) corporate lingo was just not me. I’d mentally roll my eyes when using words like “moving forwards”, “ROI” and my favourite of the lot “added value”.
I am not talking to those that love their jobs or have a great family life or those that may not really like their jobs but make it up by having hobbies that they are passionate about. Someone has to pay the bills, right? It’s great to go all “spiritual” and stuff but we also got to temper it with some practicality – like our responsibilities.
Here’s the thing though, knowing what you want is just that very first step. It’s a great big step but it’s still the very first step. Sometimes I feel it may take some trial and error. At least you’ll know what you don’t want. The key though is to go back to your heart. It’s removing all the “white noise” of life and just being still within you. Remove all expectations and limiting believes. Then ask the question: “What do I really want?” It sounds simple doesn’t it? The crummy part about being true to ourselves is that though it *is* simple it really isn’t because we have fears and with that comes doubt, we have our mind telling us that we can’t do this or be careful of that or I “need” this or that and a lot of other stuff drowning out our heart’s songs.
How would someone know where to begin?
Well, for me it was a mix of things. I’d always been interested in learning about the metaphysical and religion. I bought a tarot card deck on a whim when I was at University though I never used it! I always felt that I could express myself better with the written word and I’d always had this yearning to be a teacher. I feel that you would know where to begin. It’s there in all of us. We need to be honest and to look for it within ourselves. I’d say list it down.
Ask the question: “What do I really want? If I had no limitations what would I do with my life?” Don’t censor yourself! After all it’s your list. Make it as long as you want or as short as you want. Write about your dreams, write about what makes you genuinely happy, write about what really piques your interest. I doubt that the list would be too long though, maybe at most 5 things. However if you find yourself staring down at a list of twenty things, you just might want to re look some of the items!
Always dreamed of being a model? Write it down, it doesn’t matter if you’re 45 years old and feel silly wanting that! Do you know how many fashion blogs there are out there in this webiverse? Being a model doesn’t necessarily have to be in a fashion magazine or on the cat walk! And 45 year old women would probably LOVE to have a source for getting fashion ideas where the woman isn’t being “photoshoped to death” and a size 0 ! Maybe it’s not being a model that you really love. Maybe it’s the clothes, the sense of style and the feel of different fabrics that you love – well then maybe a designer? Can’t sew? Then learn to sew or be a stylist! Start with your friends or your husband (remember he did take a vow which included for better or for worse, so he can be your first guinea pig 😉 )
Now before you go bug your husband…or friends