“Secrets, silent, stony sit in the dark palaces of both our hearts: secrets weary of their tyranny: tyrants willing to be dethroned.”
― James Joyce
This post was inspired by a poem written by SageDoyle called Secrets.
My first impression on reading the poem was that it is a sad truth that we tend to keep things a secret from our loved ones, and because these secrets can eat away at us, consciously or unconsciously, the relationship suffers – sometimes a lot, sometimes subtly.
I do understand why we have secrets. I have secrets. Things about me that I am ashamed of, of embarrassing moments that I’d rather soon forget, things that make me feel “dirty”, things that I am afraid of or the things that make me feel uncomfortable when I even think of thinking about it. But here’s the thing…should I be feeling all those things? It was done. It is in the past. It needs to be faced, at least by me.
My vision of an ideal relationship is to meet someone that I grow to like and then love, from friends to something deeper. My ideal is that there should not be any secrets. Because to have secrets is to not be open and honest about who I was that made me who I am today. But that’s me…and that’s my ideal.
What the poem triggered in me as a second impression was the secrets that we keep hidden not from anyone else outside…but within us. The secrets that we bury deep down within us, not wanting them to see the light of truth. The ones that we need to be brave enough to face, to acknowledge, to forgive, to learn to accept and to finally love so that we can be whole. It doesn’t mean justifying the actions, it means I think to acknowledge that we did those actions, for whatever reasons and to learn what it taught us , and then to “let it go” – not because of fear or shame but because we are done with it.
I feel when we keep secrets from ourselves, it tears us inside. Makes the split ego more divided. We make ourselves feel guilty because we feel that it’s not the norm, that it is not accepted, that we were wrong. The thing is, who decides that anything is normal? Just because the majority say it is normal, does it proof that it is so? As long as the action has not permanently hurt someone (like killing or physically wounding someone or being an abuser; and so on), then why are we all so hell-bent on being “normal” when in all honesty we have absolutely no idea what normal is!
It’s hard to look within and face our fears ;and what we assume to be our downfalls. But I feel it’s something worth looking into because the result I feel would free us. Break some of the masks that we put on which can allow us to be more at peace, be breathe a little easier.
I’m not saying we go around proclaiming our secrets…no. I’m saying we work on it, from within. And if there are secrets that we feel we need to share with certain people, then we work on that too…and you never know, it could be a situation where you were an “ass” to “ass-u-me” that it was something worthy of the sufferings some secrets cause 😉
What do you think? Aye or nay?