Finding joy is problematic

One of the more important questions in life, if not the most for some is “Where is the joy in my life?” Sometimes the way the “joy question” is put can vary; “Do I enjoy what I do?”, “Does what I do bring me joy?”, “WHAT is it that brings me joy??”, “Why do I feel this void within me?” and so on and so forth.

The question of “What is it that brings me joy?” and the quest for the answer has been in the forefront of my mind for some time now and it was only very recently, maybe a week or so ago that it suddenly dawned on me! I might be going about this quest from the wrong angle!!

To not generalize this I’m going to go with my own experiences and the feeling that’s within me about this matter.

The questioning begins

Sitting here typing this post, I contemplate who I was 10 years ago, then 6 years ago and finally today I realize something very significant. The thing is I feel like I am just beginning to wake up from a deep, deep slumber.

Ten years ago the word joy only came to mind during Christmas. At that time just snatching occasional “happy times” was the way things went. It was a time of materialistic things. It was buying hordes of skincare products to get this flawless, matte complexion brought about by looking at perfectly air brushed faces in the magazines, it was about going on a search for a diet that would make me slim, it was about drinking to get drunk, it was about worrying what others thought about me. It was that and a lot of other things which accumulated into 2 years of depression.

Seven years ago, I finally took the hint and walked out on my marriage – to safe myself and to safe my ex-husband’s life too. It was then a time of worrying about the bills, about fitting into a new experience of being a single working woman, it was about escaping the pan and landing into another pan when I entered a toxic friendship which was draining me. It was the same thing, repeating itself, just in a different form. It was also the time for me to truly come out from my depression and to start the process of slowly releasing the idea that I had to be needed to be worth anything.

Four years ago it was the start of waking up. It was the start of the subtle rumblings within me which would lead to a crescendo, a major self-quake that led me to first rise up from the unconscious depth into the faint light of consciousness. It was a time of making a major decision in my life. It was the time that caused me to do a 180 degree turn with regards to my work, the way I was living and finally the question of what it was that I really wanted to do.

It’s taken me four years and it is still a phase of questioning, light bulb moments, realizations and putting into tentative actions.

What do I want in life? What brings me joy?What would I love to do, everyday with passion and joy?

Where is all the reading I’m doing about life, the Universe, God and such taking me to? What, what, what??

Along with those questions come the Why’s and the When’s. Why can’t I communicate with crystals the way some are able to? Why can’t I seem to read the cards the way some can? When will I stop comparing myself to others and REALIZE that this journey of mine is truly unique to my soul purpose? When will I find my joy? When will I know that I’m there? When will I realize that there *is* no there?!?

You see, the questioning has started, and just as one who has slept for a long, long time when we wake up, we stumble along getting used to the muscles that we haven’t used for a long time. We need the time to rub the sleep from our eyes. We need to yawn and stretch and take a deep breath and shake the cobwebs of sleep from our hearts and minds. So though I honestly still do mental face-palms at myself at times, as I go from one extreme to another, from one knowing to another without taking the time to fully realize things before I’m swinging again, I’m glad that at least I have started with the questions.

Because how many of us go through life without questioning where is our joy? How many of us are still sleepwalking in life?

The quest begins

The quest for the answers to the questions will only begin if you allow it to because it’s so easy to sometimes push it away and continue to snooze. But the thing is, I feel there will come a point in time when we won’t be able to push them away anymore! It gets too loud, it starts manifesting in our health as dis-ease, in our relationships – in our world.

So I too started on my quest to find my joy. And I don’t think anyone could say that I didn’t try hard enough, because I tried very, very hard. I looked and I searched. I did this and did that. I started this and that and a lot of other things looking high and low for my passion, my joy. I meditated, I asked God, I cried, I pouted, I stamped my foot, I prayed some more beseeching God, the Universe, the angels, my spirit guides and even my animal guides to PLEASE help me FIND MY JOY!!!!

Joy

At some points I thought I had it! It was there! In my grasp! Oh happy happy JOY! I finally found you! ….

Alas it was not to be so. It wasn’t the writing, it wasn’t the blogging, it wasn’t the art, it wasn’t the reading, it wasn’t the classes and workshops…….I was stumped.

Continue on to page 2 for the answer!

20 thoughts on “Finding joy is problematic

  1. Very true, Shree… it’s all about how we approach things. The phrase ‘everything begins from within’ is never truer with regards to finding joy. Years ago, in work, I was completely bored with the monotonous job that I had to do daily. The customers I spoke to were grumpy, the hours long and I wasn’t feeling very good at all. One day, I decided to approach the work differently. I told myself I was going to enjoy it… have fun with it. And I did. I had such a good time, my boss actually asked that I was moved because nobody should be having that much fun in work. Another side effect was that the customers were no longer grumpy either. We all shared the joy!

    Great post!

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    1. Love the story! Thanks so sharing and it’s true. I see it too, when I smile and am more relaxed the experience I have with the patients that walk into the clinic is very light and better than when I’m grumpy ! Hehehe.

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  2. Shree thanks for sharing your thoughts on Joy and how true it is!! Let me an example from my own life…..when I was in school I thought the school seniors had less to study and more fun, then when I myself became a senior I felt guys in college are much better then when in college it’s the guys who are working….then at work I found its not that easy…..finally happiness seem to be a moving target till I realized, that it’s me where the happiness reside…am trying to spread that message from then on…..
    Thanks for sharing this and I am sure you have found your true joy…take care…

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    1. Haha…now that is one story which is classic, because I have a feeling most of us can relate to it! I know I can πŸ™‚
      Thank you for sharing and well..I’m taking the steps to enjoy whatever it is that I am doing and trying to shush the goblins in my mind πŸ˜›

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    1. Thank you elena for sharing your thoughts as well! How true..we really should remove the blinds of “expectations” and perception and just see the joy in things πŸ™‚

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  3. I think that too much time is spent wondering about the things that we are doing, or not doing, even things that we are considering, and so on. If we just take each day and enjoy whatever we do, not worry about anyone else, what their thoughts are on what we choose, then the joy of doing is whatever we like. These preferences can be funny, creative, outrageous or just plain daft, but they are our own vision of joy and that is what makes everything so worthwhile πŸ™‚

    Have a lovely rest of weekend
    Heartsong and enjoy every moment πŸ™‚

    I am visiting you
    today from Wombania πŸ™‚

    Andro

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    1. Hello Andro! Thank you for visiting and sharing your thoughts as well!
      It’s exactly that, what you said that is the key of “finding joy” and even living in the moment. It’s there right in front of us but for some reason even with someone like me who is trying so hard (maybe too hard?) I don’t see it!
      We do worry too much. We do think too much. Now I wonder if we don’t think too much if the world itself would be a better place!

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      1. I think that if one allows the outside world to infiltrate one’s thoughts, then the pessimism that is consistently broadcasted these days could weaken one’s resolve.

        One cannot change everything quickly, it takes time to breathe optimism back into society and with this in mind, one’s thoughts need only target what is important to one’s own health and wellbeing.

        As you know there are lots of good things in this world, there are lovely people also but those are not headline news, it seems that only negitivity is highlighted, thus giving a poor reflection of everything around us, which in reality is not the real picture.

        Hey have a lovely Monday
        and enjoy every day my friend πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

        Andro

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        1. Hi Andro and a very happy Monday (?) to you too!
          Again what you have written is so true – one of the main reasons I don’t read the newspapers…
          I guess in this really topsy- turvy world of ours, it seems that negativity sells. Maybe it’s us, not wanting to look within and face our demons we look outside and find some kind of weird solace that others are worst off than us? I don’t know.
          One wisdom saying is to change the world, we need only to change ourselves. Oh but how easy it is to look at another and offer up words of advice (at it’s best) or to judge (at it’s worst) . Sometimes I feel in this generation of quick fixes and go getters people don’t have the patience to work on themselves unless there is a “Return of investment”. There must be something tangible to show for it and if it’s materialistic, that’s better.
          You know they say, it’s darkest before dawn…well, my hope is that it is true!

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  4. I think we’re all individual in our ideas Shree, so what makes one happy and joyful just won’t work for another. We definitely know when we’re unhappy and down, and to find the root cause is usually quite easy, health/wealth and happiness are all co-joined, (by wealth in this case I mean more than monetary, as in wealth of spirit) Sharing/caring and spreading the love makes me joyful, able to ‘see’ whats important in this life. Not what you have/own/buy , ’tis what you feel/share and obtain in fresh outlook and ability to communicate. We’re complex beings, and now and again we need an emotional ‘tune up’ or ‘MOT’ πŸ™‚ nothing ever stays the same, and we change our feelings to fit. Joy at anything is there within our grasp, I feel joy when looking at the birds feeding at my Bird Table, I feed them and they come. we spread positivity/warmth and it returns to us, many-fold. As usual Shree, you’ve stirred my grey cells into action. A joyful Monday wish to you.. xPenx

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    1. hehe…glad to have stirred those wonderful grey cells of yours, Pen! I agree with what you have said..we all are unique and we need to allow ourselves to feel the joy in our own ways!

      Btw, what’s a MOT?

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      1. MOT is a car test by the Ministry of Transport in Britain, Shree, all cars have to take it after so many years, to prove they’re safe for the road. πŸ˜‰ Sorry, I forget that idioms from different countries aren’t known. so I was just saying that I mayhap needed such a test … heheh!! xx

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  5. Joy sits right inside of you waiting for you to experience it with everyday things. Find the good in everything…There is always two sides to t he nickle, so focus on the good side of it.
    Love yourself, and love others. This is sure to wake up the joy resting inside of you aching to be felt.

    When you visit my blog, I sense joy from you, Shree. So you see, even if your not feeling it, others are. Allow yourself to experience as well.

    Your a beautiful person with a loving heart.

    Here is too a joy filled day, experiencing everyday things!
    xxx

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    1. Aww thank you Deb πŸ™‚ I’m learning to allow joy into my life. It’s an experiment and I intend to just let it happen πŸ™‚

      You are right…joy is within us.

      Have a wonderful funderful day too Deb πŸ™‚

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  6. I’m sorry you had to go through what you did in life. But your thoughts on finding joy I think are very true. You usually find such things only when you’re not directly looking for them. Joy is sort of an intangible. I think we should focus more on what’s important. Few things in life are truly important, and when we focus on what’s important to us, we feel much more satisfied and fulfilled.

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  7. The key to a state of bliss and joyfulness happens (it just happens without trying) if we “Let Go” of the baggage stored in our minds.
    Wishing you all the happiness Shree.
    πŸ™‚

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    1. Hi Dilip. It’s true what you have said. I have come to realize that “letting go” comes with being mindful that we have truly let go. I am letting go…and there are times when I catch myself not truly doing that. I feel it is because we sometimes fear if we let go, then what we get is not what we expect, even if it is something that will help us!
      We really can sometimes be just little children…I know I can be!
      Thank you for your wishes and I wish the same to you too πŸ™‚

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