Another wondering post, a post to serve as a reminder too and strangely enough these thoughts joined another thought (which has been posted) all while watching a staff at a restaurant cleaning the legs of a chair.
To check out Part 1 click here 🙂
For all of what I write and say, for all the books that I’ve read and will read, for those certain times when someone has told me I’m profound and am wise (this is something I still have a hard time believing…but that’s just another thing I need to get over) I know I still have much to learn and apply in my life.
Because Life doesn’t allow me to forget. I don’t say this in a negative way, I say it with gratitude…I CHOOSE to say it with gratitude. Life reminds me to not take things for granted. She reminds me of this when I write about things or when at times I read my old posts, that falling asleep was easy..it’s the staying awake which needs us to put in the effort. It’s not a struggle. It’s not meant to be a struggle. As Stuart Wilde says in his book” Life Was Never Meant to be a Struggle”, putting effort into something doesn’t equate to struggle. Putting effort into something means to be always aware, always conscious and to not expect “it” to fall from the sky onto your lap, whatever “it” is.
Life reminds me to not get too big headed and think “I’ve got it”.
She also reminds me, because I need the reminding, everyone starts from some where. I started from a place and a time when I could actually feel my heart shrivel up like a raisin, when if I had seen a psychiatrist I’d have been given antidepressants. She reminds me when I’m plagued with self – doubts, what it feels like. Somewhere within me I feel she reminds me of these things so that when I do break those walls down completely I won’t forget. I feel if I do forget then Life will send me another reminder…maybe something the likes of a brick wall instead of a lone brick.
Sometimes I feel it’s so easy to forget, not only did we all start at some place and time, but that we all progress at different speeds. It’s easier maybe to shake our heads with incomprehension at those who don’t seem to “get it” which this amnesia provides us instead of thinking back to those painful times. Maybe it’s just a survival mechanism? It can be a slippery slope down to the land of self righteousness too, I think. When we forget.
I know this because even when I still struggle with self-doubt, when I still am learning to trust completely, there will be breakthroughs. Not big explosive ones, but breakthroughs all the same. I’d feel oh so fine and dandy. I’d feel great! When someone tells me they still feel doubtful I’d say, “JUST trust”…thinking, why don’t they? Within a week Life dishes me a situation when it all comes crashing down again. When I would have to re-evaluate, contemplating and reflecting, exercising my role in this journey with more humility and understanding.
When we think we know it all, that we’ve gotten it, something comes along to shake us up. It’s a good thing. It helps us remember that this journey is one of continued movement – a continuous ascension- , that when we think we’ve reached the finish line , there’s another opportunity to ascend further and it also serves to remind us that we too were like that once….
I don’t know if this post will make sense to anyone or if it’s too cryptic…I just wanted to put it out here to remember, 🙂
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