Only because “wallaby” is a lot cuter than saying “wannabe”.
I’m a writer. I mean, I write. I’ve written as a hobby. I’ve written for money. And yet, one thing has bothered me. It didn’t bother me before. It has, however, started bothering me quite recently. To make things worse, I had re-read my last post on here and almost ki.lled myself with embarrassment.
That post was PLAGUED with horrible mistakes. It was as if my mind and my fingers were on two different paths! Seriously…it wasn’t a pretty sight. I corrected it all, whatever I could find. I’m sure if I had another look at it again, and probably at my older posts, I’d be burning a couple of midnight oils to correct them all!
So, what exactly is it that has been bothering me? Why, confessions? And why, a wallaby writer?
I honestly don’t think I know English grammar. I mean, I thought I did, but I don’t think I actually do.
I know what a noun is.
I know what a pronoun is.
I know what a verb is, and what adverbs and adjectives do.
I know how to write a sentence without totally convoluting (I had to check that word, apparently I’ve just created a new one) a person’s mind. In fact, I sadly do, do write sentences that have not only confused me, but others as well. So, I’m not too sure about this one.
Basically, what I’m trying to say is that, I think I have the ability to write something without someone wanting to scream in frustration or cringe in disgust.
And..that’s about it.
I took a couple of tests available for freelance writers on Upwork. It’s an online platform that caters for freelancers (writers and designers) to find jobs, and for those with jobs to hire…freelancers. ←Cue one of those cringe worthy sentences… hehe.
I’ll be honest. I had to Google most of what the questions asked.
Clauses…apparently there are more than Mr and Mrs Claus(e) around. It’s like a huge family of clauses – main clause, subordinate clauses, relative clauses, noun clauses..
And phrases? Wow..
Noun phrase, prepositional phrase, adjective phrase, adverb phrase, verb phrase, infinitive phrase (first time I saw this, I thought to myself, “A phrase that goes on and on and on ad infinitum?” Nope. I didn’t guess that one right)..oh and my favourite, gerund phrase (I thought that was German..hehe..I *do* entertain myself sometimes), participle phrase and absoulute phrase!
Like, where in the name of the great fudgisical poopsicle did all that come from?
I am very sure I paid attention in English class…I think. I have never heard or remember hearing such things..ever. Until recently. At the age of 45.
Oh, and the use of punctuation marks like commas, colons and semi-colons. There’s a whole international debate about if a comma should be placed after the “and”, at the end of a list. There’s something called an Oxford comma! (Ok, to be totally honest, I knew about this one for some time, just thought I’d add it for added drama, coz who doesn’t love drama, right?).
So, yea..I mean, I’ve joined a few writer groups on Facebook and well, sometimes when I look at their posts about muses and correct sentence structures and all that, I feel much like a ‘wallaby’.
Then, there are these blogs that I’ve just subscribed to. The bloggers generously share awesome tips about how to be a great freelancer, how to make excellent pitches, how to do up your profile to market yourself successfully…I read through them and I’m like “Damn, that’s just so not me!” I mean, I come from a generation and a culture that looked down at you with glaring eyes and frowning eyebrows if you thought of “blowing your own trumpet”. At the same time, if I didn’t do it, who would!? Right?
And THEN, there are these bloggers with successful blogs that give you tips on how to make your blogs awesome! How to analyse what you write, and how to write them, and what this and how that, and again I go “Damn! Really?”.
For now, until the next “Oh my God, what am I doing?!” moment, I’ve decided to take a chill pill and relax. Focus on what I really want to do. Build up my collection of mandala and art prints. Read! Aura Soma! Start to seriously focus on getting myself in that space of being balanced, of trusting the path that I am on, and do what I love to do.
Because, in the end, that’s why I left a 9-5 job that was eating into my day. That’s why I decided that I didn’t want to get into the rat race. That’s why I made the choice of looking at success a little lopsided compared to the norm.
My declaration is this: I am a rebel writer! I write, what I write! Be damned with rules! (but shall try my best to be a better proofreader of my own work).
~Returns the wallaby back to the Australian wilderness~