My Journey

Date: 6th January 2013

I’d like to say that I’ve made progress in leaps and bounds but sadly that isn’t really true. I have noticed that I’m more aware of my feelings, of my actions and that I’m not as perturbed as I used to be about “being left behind” in my quest for growth – spiritually that is. Physically…let’s just say I’d rather not grow as fast!

I’ve been reading a little more and trying to apply what I have read a little more. I’ve realized that I really need to learn to listen with an open mind and heart instead of jumping in with what *I* feel or think! Maybe this is all part of becoming more aware….learning to live in the moment?

Sometimes I try my best to be patient and let things that irritate not irritate me, but it sort of lashes back at me because then I lash out or get angry at something small! So…maybe I need to not learn to control but to let it go through, feel it and THEN let it go. I don’t know…a few months ago I felt this sudden urgency to get things done, as in self growth and all that. Now…not so much an urgency but more of this quiet yet deep knowing that there is much I have to learn and to improve on.

I wish I could say that I am more accepting of myself…well to be honest I think I am..a little more. It’s more internal than external, which I’m taking as a start.

It’s strange..I have all these books that will help me to get back to myself, I started with Paul Ferrini’s book which lays out these 8 steps ( Keys to the Kingdom). Read the whole book, started with the first step, with the intention to continue to build on each step every week..uhm..it’s been about a month or slightly less and I’m still at “Am I loving myself at this moment”. I’d like to say that I’m lazy which is very true but at the same time I’m a little aghast to think that I may “just not be bothered because it’s not going to help me”. I try to placate myself then by thinking..maybe I’m just afraid of change, which to my warped mind is a lot better than being apathetic about my own growth!

Good intentions are wonderful but one needs a less lazy behind to get in gear, me thinks!

I’ve been also working on a project. It sort of came about in a weird sort of way. I was happily drawing and colouring with additions of sprinkling some “My blog! My blog! I need to post in my blog!”, when the idea of the project came to me. It’s not done yet but it’s coming along and I’m kind of quietly excited about that.

I also made good use of my newly (re) discovered artistic side….I drew a picture for my mom and sis, framed them (the pieces not my mom and sis) and gave them as Christmas gifts! My mom’s thank you went something like this ” Draw a picture of Lord Ganesha so that we can give it to X” – the X being the parent’s close friends. Something about “Give a foot and they ask for a yard” came to mind..but it’s all good. And no..I haven’t even attempted to try drawing Lord Ganesha…I haven’t progressed much with animal drawings after Unicorn May so a roly-poly god with an elephant’s head might prove a challenge.

Well, that’s about it…I’d thought I would have lots to write about this journey but maybe the changes are so subtle and there are so many times when we move forwards and then slip back a step or two that sometimes, there is nothing really much to write about?

27 thoughts on “My Journey

  1. Hi,

    Great To See Your story. You have became the Master of Your Own Fate, Captain of You Own Soul.

    Thank You for stopping by my writings.

    -Awesome AJ
    I am the MASTER of My FATE, I am the CAPTAIN of My SOUL.

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  2. as you say, Shree, by being aware … well that’s something… AND I think we all go through this kind of ‘wall’ thing, I had my time away from WordPress, and I didn’t write or do anything creative… I just let myself drift… searching for ‘something’ other than the ‘norm’ … Things just come to a head and… something has to give, I’m sitting here, Bank Holiday Monday, … drinking my first coffee, (need two to get my brain into gear 😉 ) … and the birds outside are singing away like mad… I wish I had their enthusiasm, but I am getting there. slowly, but surely.. Your journey is your personal ‘walk’ through this life… at this moment in time, it’s what you need to do, find yourself and you’re there.. Boredom is your mind, saying “what’re ya doin’? .. get on with something else… ” 🙂 something productive,…. and that’s what you’re achieving in your steps listed above.. … Great uplifting post … and good to have you back amongst us.. (I know I said that before ,.. but I means it!!!) xPenx ..

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    1. Aww thanks Pen and yes we all have our own unique journey specially tailored for our needs. And that the problem with our mind isn’t it? It’s full of little goblins chattering away making us feel inadequate, that we *need* to be doing something, wait for the other shoe to drop and all that stuff. It’s a good thing actually to sometimes just drift and to let be and to go with the flow…but sometimes I feel we need to keep reminding ourselves that it’s OKAY! to do that! hehe. I’m glad to be back 🙂 Missed you and the other wonderful friends I’ve made on here 🙂

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  3. Wow, you sound an awful lot like me. I over analyze things, over plan, have overly high expectations of most things and people. . . Maybe we’re twins!

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    1. Aww Binky!!! *sniff* I feel so special that you would think we were twins! Even if you’re a wombat 😉
      Now, let’s hope you are commenting as Binky and not Chris or Peter! hehehe.
      And you’re so right..I do do all those things you’ve listed out..and what happens is when I’m done with the over analyzing, over planning and expecting too much..I just freeze, get too tired and I don’t do anything! or…what is worse is I will decide to do it but without the same enthusiasm as when I was planning (because I’d be tired) and THEN I’d get all disappointed with the outcome…*face palm*

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      1. Well I was really commenting as Peter! But I do so many of those things like you do. And I often build up something so much that in reality it fails to live up to my expectations. It’s certainly good if you can temper that tendency.

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    1. You’re not a hack 😛 Yes, journeys are long…and yes it maybe uphill..and yes the view is wonderful to see…to take a rest…and then we continue…

      Mandela has a quote on just this climbing hill and life thing! I can’t remember right now..but it’s out there some where 😉

      Your view and my view…both as magnificent…:)

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            1. Ooops…hmmm…..aren’t you supposed to just click on that Linkitz thingie and then follow the instructions? AND copy and paste the code for whichever week’s badge on the side bar in your post…so it links back to the Grid…

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  4. I have not read the whole ‘My Journey’ yet, but the first page is fantastic. Go for it, follow your dreams, I am on a similar path (I am in the process of trying to do the same after losing my job, and am now reassessing my life and what I want to do).

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    1. Thank you, Penny 🙂

      I’m sorry for the loss of your job and at the same time really heartened to read that it’s given you the opportunity to reassess your life and what you want to do!

      It’s scary…I’m sure…and at the same time you show your true strength by looking at it as an opportunity! All the very bestest to you and may your dream flow like a beautiful river and may abundance follow it too! 🙂

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