I get it, but I don’t

I get that abundance is available for all. We “just” need to get past these feelings of unworthiness, lack and just generally feeling that we are victims to our circumstances.

I get that this reality we call reality, isn’t really real.

I get that this life we live is a mixture of what we as individual souls want to experience in this life time (predestined) and the choices that we make leading to its consequences (free will).

I get all that and a lot of other things too…

BUT

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I’m tired…

Today as I type this at about 7 in the evening, I realise that I may be in deep shit. Well, in the larger scheme of life, it won’t even qualify as anything major. In fact, it’ll probably just make the tiniest tiniest little blip and then disappear. However, in my mind and the way I think, it’s one of those irritating challenges or obstacles sitting in the middle of the road…sitting like a big flabby ugly slimy icky monster, sticking it’s tongue out at me…it’s like that horrible sound when nails scratch across the chalkboard…it just makes me wanna pull at my hair and scream or run away and hide from the world hoping that it disappears…when I know that all I have to do is to close my eyes, take a deep breath, give my mind a pep talk and it will all disappear and things will be alright.

The thing is…

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The 3-second rule

I don’t know about you, but for me I was thinking about this post I am about to write when I realised: why is it SO hard to get up and do something that is positive for ourselves but so easy when it’s something not as “good”. For example, why is it easier for me to get up from my chair to go make my 6th cup of coffee but much harder to do so when it is my first bottle of water. It’s like my arse has this love-hate relationship with the seat of the chair. It’s as if when it’s something “not good”, like the 6th cup of coffee, my arse and seat of chair have had an argument and arse walks off in a huff. When it’s something “good” for me, like practicing Qi Gong or getting that bottle of water..arse and seat of chair can’t get enough of each other.

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My awakening experience and moving forwards.

The Tower card from tarot decks usually signify an event or time in one’s life when the Universe and their life stream / soul / Spirit decide it’s time for the individual to wake up. It may present itself as a traumatic event or a time in  when everything  seems to be falling apart. I also believe that it can present itself as an inner turmoil – like thunder rumbling within the darkened sky heralding a major storm, like the turbulent sea in the midst of such a storm, with strong winds forming huge crashing waves as we grip the edge of the little row boat we seem to find ourselves in.  And, I think that is when we come to certain major cross-roads in our journey, a place where we decide which way we are going to go – sometimes consciously but before that mostly unconsciously. Most times we aren’t sure what we are doing, we’re scared, confused and we stumble along in blind panic trying our best to talk ourselves back into some semblance of calm. Sometimes, there is a voice within us that feels like the glow from a candle still alight even with the raging storm all around us, nudging us towards a certain choice or action. Either way, these times in our lives give us the opportunities to do what can’t not be done. The choice though is always ours.

This is my story.

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Quote: Traveler’s Notes from The Map

Ah…it’s December 🙂 Back to regularly scheduled posts every Sundays and Wednesdays! Yay for routine 😉

This post was originally meant to be posted earlier this week but Sage who is an awesome writer of terrific poems wrote one specially because I requested it and I *had* to share it.

On the day this post got written, I decided to “go with the flow” and picked up the book nearest to me and opened a random page to get a nice, simple quote.

Sometimes, Life is really quite “haha” funny because the book nearest to me was The Map by Colette Baron-Reid and the random page wasn’t so much a quote as well…you’ll see.

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